My husband’s work schedule, this past year and a half, continues to take a toll on our family.
I am proud of my husband and I have a deep gratitude for the way he demonstrates his love and commitment to our family. I am proud of his hard work and the sacrifices he makes as a provider. I am proud, too, of the father that he is to our sons: the time he spends with them, the conversations he has with them, and the games he plays with them. I am also grateful for the painstaking way that he instills discipline and encourages character development in their lives. I am proud, too, of the work that he is doing and the impact he is making in the lives of many, through his job. And I am grateful for the love, friendship and support that he provides me with.
But it’s really hard.
My spirit is depressed. There are many reasons for this. Last night, however, on top of my feelings of sadness and loneliness I felt an anger, burning within me, toward him. Angry that he wasn’t more available. After all, he was the reason I made this ‘land’ my home. He was my family and my support system. He was not fulfilling that role in the way that I wanted and I wanted him to fix it.
It seemed easier to turn to anger than to embrace the season and dwell in God’s truth:
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
This is God’s will for our family, in Christ Jesus. And God uses all things for our good and for His glory.
With this perspective I realized that I am, actually, not alone in this. Aside from God who is always with me – my husband is in it with me. We are working together toward goals that we have set for: our family, our marriage, and our children. And while it is hard on all of us, God is worthy of our trust. In fact, we have gotten glimpses of some of the ways that God has used this time to grow us individually and as a family.
When I’m at home holding down the fort, he is away, playing his part. Each of our roles, while different, are equally difficult. But Jesus didn’t promise us ‘easy’, did He? He did promise to be with us. And He promised to use our trials for good.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good.